I Counsel - 1

(short story. comments welcome.)
(starting a series with this one. that's why it's called '1')
(special thanks to whoever made that video for this song. I love the concept.)

The counselor twitched. This was his last appointment of the day. Right now, Ginny would be getting ready for their movie date later in the evening, he thought. The blurb of random thought didn't stay for long. It was interrupted by the voice of the person who had his eyes closed.

The counselor was intrigued by the personality of this visitor. An average Asian guy, probably Indian. The voice didn't seem to have an Indian accent though. He thought for a moment, and realized it didn't have any particular accent at all! This boyish man seemed to pronounce Indian, American, French, Russian, and Dutch tones at once in the same sentence. "Must be something wrong with my ear. Ginny puffed too much air in there last night.", he smiled as he swayed away into random thoughts for a moment.

He focussed his mind back to the voice. He wasn't surprised that his hand was still writing down the important points from this session. Others would have found it amazing, but he knew what his mind was capable of - he could think of random things while he took notes of what the 'boy' was saying. It would be a flawless display of parallel use of mind, but he chose to keep it to himself. That he had an off-the-charts IQ but always described it as "140-ish" to avoid intimidating friends and dates. 140-150 is 'safe range' - people think you're intelligent enough to observe the world, but can be naive enough ("mad scientists"?) to not know how to deal with the world yourself. People with very high quotients know that they either become one-day-geniuses and get sought-after by researchers and intelligence agencies, or stay low-key while trying to live an 'ordinary' life.

He had opted for the latter path.

He looked at his notepad. "Scribbled enough?", he cogitated for a few seconds.

"Okay .... let's see....", he cleared his throat. Spicy Asian food the last night had done its wonders, no doubt. "Are you still angry?"

The boy opened his eyes and stared at him. "Angry? At what? For what?", his voice was still cold.

C: "That you and this woman couldn't go together for long."

B: "Is that something to be angry about? I told you it's not like it happened yesterday. It's been a while."

C: "Yes, but it's difficult to get over bitter separations. People come to me all the time and..."

He was cut short. The boy apparently knew what he was coming to.

B: "It was difficult. It was a bitter separation. I am not like rest of the people who come to you. I am not mad at her."

C: "Good. So let's go over it again. You are this happy, life-loving man approaching the not-so-early twenties with ambitious plans for life. You then date this girl, and your priorities and personality changes. You two are then separated, and you totally 'lose it', or as what you said, 'become a loser' for a while."

B: "Yes."

C: "Did you fall for her?"

B: "Would there by any other reason in psychology books to explain my reactions later?"

C: "umm...I don't think so. Have you read psychology?"

B: "Lots. Back in my teens."

C: "That's ... nice. I had that interest too in my teens. Look where I am right now.", he smiled calmly, "So can you describe the relationship?"

B: "In two sentences: She was the mature one who kept her balance in the relationship. I was the 'boy' who at once thought he had found the one for himself."

C: "Does that mean..."

B: "It means that she knew it was not going to work out. She kept the relationship going for a while because she didn't want to hurt me. Or may be she was just enjoying the 'seduce and dump' play."

C: "I'm surprised that you are aware of that term. That approach usually backfires for both."

B: "Well, I don't see how it backfired for her. For me, well, yes, it did. I grew closer to her all this time, falling even deeper into love."

C: "Did she lose it too sometime?"

B: "No. That's what made it interesting. She planned the exit. And it came slowly, and finally hit me."

C: "So you didn't foresee it?"

B: "What do you think I am? A total loser? Probably not. I knew exactly what she was doing. How she was trying to get to me again and again. Finally, one day, I gave in."

C: "hmm. How did you react after the separation?"

B: "Depressed. Tried to cry, but that didn't help - most Asian guys are not conditioned to get better by crying. Did many things that would make me look a lot more stupid than what I am."

C: "You seem like a balanced, intelligent man. A good IQ is usually accompanied by a good EQ. You know, emotional quotient."

B: "How about you say it a bit bluntly - that I had a 'girly' quotient in me?"

C: "Well, that's not how I would like to put it..."

B: "I was naive. High or low, IQ doesn't help in the matters of the heart."

His choice of words struck the counselor.

C: "It's been a while now, isn't it?"

B: "Yes."

C: "How did you deal with it all this time?"

B: "Part of my depression was a self-doubt over my personality. I brooded long hours, "Isn't it enough to be a good, helpful, well-intentioned person anymore?" The answer, as I found it to be, was 'No. You can be a nice guy, and you can be loved as a person. But you have to be a practical, sharp, skilled, macho, nice guy to be loved and desired as a partner, be it life or bed.' "

C: "That's a bit too many things in there, don't you think? I remember a good joke..."

B: "That I've also toiled the time since my realization in pondering the meaning of life, thinking deep into humanity and relationship - probably would add to your joke."

C: "Oh. I didn't mean the joke as a comment on..."

B: "Doesn't matter. After it got over, I underwent this phase of self-doubt over almost everything. Was it my personality as a whole? Was it my social behavior? Was it my idea of 'fun'? Was it my performance in bed? What the hell was it?"

C: "Well, sometimes people are just not compatible enough..."

B: "Wishful excuse. I know. You know what I ended up doing over the last few months to get rid of that self-doubt?"

C: "What did you do?"

B: "I went back to studying human relationships, human temptation, and what drives even the strongest of minds. I got rid of my doubts about myself. All it took was many bold steps this nice guy never thought he would."

C: "Well, most such people I know are the ones who stayed away from relationships till their late twenties, and then got hurt in one or more relationships. Then went on to become...."

B: "I know the theory. Tell me something new. Wait a second - I am here to tell you about myself."

C: "Yeah, you are. It's therapeutic for you."

B: "So after having achieved this, after having become the ' who can make his way through anything, what do you think I should do?"

C: "Are you asking me, or testing me?"

B: "You're the counselor, not me."

C: "Did you end up becoming a heartbreaker yet?"

B: "Not yet. I flirt. I get what I desire. But I don't take risks with hearts."

C: "Damaged hearts sometimes get a tendency to become heartbreakers."

B: "Funny. The woman who broke my heart was herself damaged a long time ago. But here's the deal. I got many occasions in recent past where I realized that women were falling for me. I made things clear to those women right there. They realized. They stopped. I gave them enough leeway to save face before it got too gory."

C: "Sounds good. Not many people have that kind of control over their desires."

B: "Tell me about it. It's hard to be close to tempting women, and then turn them away because you know any further will hurt them hard. Heck, if I were Howard Roark, I would have never turned a single one of them away."

C: "You seem to have read Ayn Rand philosophy a bit."

B: "A bit? Well, forget Rand. Forget objectivism. You've heard of Nietzsche?"

C: "The one behind existentialism?"

B: "Yes, which one do you think put his/her arguments logically?"

C: "I can get lost in any kind of philosophical debate very fast. Let's get back to your life."

B: "What else do you want me to talk about?"

C: "What do you want to do with that relationship now?"

B: "The one that never really existed for long? Nothing."

C: "Absolutely? A lot of people who recover from a breakup want to get back to the 'ex' someday."

B: "That's what makes them 'a lot of people'. I don't want to do that."

C: "Good to hear that. I think you realized..."

B: "I tell you what I realized. I realized that if I get back to her, it'll be her win. I realized that if I keep thinking about getting even with her, I would have to be beneficial to her somehow, since whatever she did ultimately proved beneficial to me. I realized that the best way to get revenge is to never let her know how my personality changed. I realized that nothing could be better than letting her know 20 years later what she missed out on."

C: "That's .... different."

B: "I was never smart with money, or women. That is why probably I wanted her so much at that time. Now that I am careful with money, better with women, hang around with the most powerful people in the cities, do things that people could just dream of, I don't want her any more. I want someone even better."

C: "I sense overconfidence. You know what they say .... 'Women rule this world.' "

B: "Only because men let them."

C: "Well, that's ...."

B: "That's what a seductress recently told me, when she failed in her attempts."

C: "Okay, let's get back on track. So you got over her. What's next?"

B: "So...I looked at my life and my mistakes, and realized the reason I ended up being manipulated was that I needed other people."

C: "We all do..."

B: "Here's the thing. I have worked at it, and will continue to work at becoming someone who doesn't need others. Women - I'll go after the one or ones I want. Emotional and emergency support - I'll get it from friends. Fun - I've got loads of people around me to get that."

C: "You sound too ideal to be true now."

B: "I'm just an ordinary guy. A nice guy."

The counselor looked at his watch.

C: "I guess we're almost up with the time. How about I see you next week?"

B: "Yes, sure. It was nice talking to you. It helped."

C: "One last question before you leave. Ever tried any IQ tests?"

B: "Yes. You can say ... I'm 140-ish."

The boy smiled at him, and left.

The counselor didn't respond. He was dumbstruck.