Perfect Courtship

(short story. comments welcome.)

This was the sixth letter he had received within the last 4 weeks. Who was spying on him? More importantly, who was trying to help him? And what's the use now?

Not that he was good at relationships, but he wasn't dumb either. Shelly had entered his life recently. They had been friends for a while, when she decided they should take a step forward. He liked the idea, but always hesitated to turn the friendship into something else. He hadn't had a 'proper' girlfriend yet, and while he was soon approaching the mid-20s, he wasn't in a hurry to grab a friend for this achievement.

Shelly once joked she was looking for that perfect courtship. She said she wanted to preserve the memories of the relationship, specifically the courtship period, forever for the man she would stay long-term with. He thought how screwed up her life would have been, had this been true. Was it the reason why so many others had attempted to impress this lovely, and not succeeded? Nah, they were just not good enough.

The day they started dating, he received a letter. "Snail mail? Who sends snail mail these days?", he mumbled while opening it. The letter didn't have too much text - just a note that one of his 'friends' was trying to help him in his romantic adventures, and a list of tips on how to behave on dates and how to win the girl's heart.

"Funny prank", he laughed, and tore the letter away.

He believed in being himself - the lousy, lazy, and careless geek he always has been. He wouldn't go over a list of tips to change his behavior. Never. Why would he try to present a fake cover which won't even come close to his real self?

He was slightly late for dates, forgot to call her many times, and didn't try to brainstorm too hard on where to take her for lunches and dinners.

Surprisingly for him, every few days another letter arrived. The letter would contain "how to"s of proper dating etiquette. A coincidence that it was usually about the places they had been to, or the activities they tried? Or one of his friends was actually playing a long prank? He was typically open about his relationship with his near and dear friends, but he would not expect one of them to play a joke like this!

Days went by, and he continued to be just himself. She would not say anything, except for a delight on her face when he did turn up on time, or brought a flower for her on some occasions. She had started turning crankier with him with each passing day. He started to sense there was something wrong, but didn't figure out what it was.

Yesterday, she called him. She quickly recited the standard "It's not working anymore" dialog he had heard in so many movies and TV soaps.

It was all over. He knew she didn't believe in second chances. Neither did he.

Today the sixth letter arrived. The letter just said, "There's always a next time, with someone else. Remember to read the letters again." He suddenly felt a burst of anger. The prankster hadn't even spared this emotional moment.

Then he noticed there was something else on this particular letter. A signature at the bottom. He recognized it. It said, "Shelly".

He realized someone, somewhere, would be getting prank letters right now.